man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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