you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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