I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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