Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
