god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Randomize