It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
