bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
