she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
