The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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