Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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