Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
