STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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