he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
