I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
