Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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