If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
