even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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