Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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