You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
