who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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