just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
