did you get engaged???
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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