We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
