so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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