your thong is hanging out like whoa
Welp...herpes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
