I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
