Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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