I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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