He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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