My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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