I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
