If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize