Porn is love you can see.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
