Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize