I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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