a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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