There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
