my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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