Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
