Having a random hookup so left but love u
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
