apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
