we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
