so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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