You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
