ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
