spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
