nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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