I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
