Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize