i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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