Christians are straight up FREAKS
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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