Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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