If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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