thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
