you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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