my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize