Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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