I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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