We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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