I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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