would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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