im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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