I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Who the fuck stole my fridge again