Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down