seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.