Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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