Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.