Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.