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I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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